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Somehow... my unscious mind knows im putting up a brave front.

Juggling with studies and trying to work my ass off to keep myself alive. Thats hard. Studying for exams is already a dreaded thing. The one thing that I look forward to this days is ironically sleep. At the end of the day, after a day of hard work, I get to rest my mind....... not really.

Because, you would appear in my dreams almost every night. An image of the timed we had together, the good times. The motivation that kept me going, even today. I woke up smiling with a good feel. But soon reality sinks in and.. those were just dreams, unreal. A projection of what I really yearn for from the sub conscious mind. The honest truth behind that brave front. somehow I feel happy. Cos from that moment, I know that was what I really want. I know that I could stop thinking like what I ought to be thinking without any consequences.

But when reality sinks back in. You know its not possible, and u spend the rest of the day trying to busy yourself in order to shaft that idea aside. Your mind starts finding reason to shut that idea away. And you finally succeed.

Then, suddenly its time to slp again and the whole viscious cycle repeats.

I know this is cheesy but, I wished everything would go back to how it was, and we would find a better solution off this. But o well. We all know. Most wishes dont come true. If they ever did, they would be miracles. I wish i could just chuck u aside, treat u like my enemy, treat u as a nobody. But u know, I can never bring myself to do it. Because I still care for u, I still love you.

Ultimately, when all fails, faith is what we have. It is the blindless but hopeful faith that will bring us through, well but this time round not as  a couple but individuals.

Every brave front will now contribute to overriding the unconscious mind now. As I start to believe that I would be better without you and no longer yearn for u. The dreams will start to lessen. And ill start to look out for someone, better then u, definitely. And hopefully you too. I wish us all the best.