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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

just let me give up trying. just for one night.
because, you were real.
because, we were in love.
because, i never stopped thinking about you.
because, i almost never gave up.

read a confession on SIM confession, about a guy breaking up with his gf but went back to chase her. Gf was touched and got back with him and lived happily ever after. sounded like a fairy tale but i was willing to give it a try. oh wait, i think i have given it a try before. i might sound despo, but even if, a single spark of hope appears, i think i would grab that chance again, to be with you.
though i know that,
i may not be the best bf.
i may not be the smartest bf.
i may not be the manliest bf.
i may not be your bf material.

this few days led me to despair;
what use are memories when they only stab a knife into your heart.
what use are memories when you can think about them but not hold it close to your heart.
what use are memories when you know its gonna fade away sooner or later.
what use are memories when they dont warm you up but make you cry.

i guess i've never matured. i thought i understood. but it got the better of me. giving in. or basically, im just plain stubborn.

now i admit,

i yearn for you,
i still want to hug you
i want to kiss you
i still want to make love with you.
i still want you.
i still want to eat ma la tang with you
i still want to watch running man with you
i still want to buy you an ice cream
i still want to watch air gear with you
i still want to sing to you
i still want to skate with you
i still want to make memories with you
i still want dar dar.
i still want to.
i still want to....
i still want to.........
BUT i cant . . .

how do i let this urge go. how ? when all i was ever thought was to keep the one i love close and to never give up on them. yes i must admit, i suck at giving up. that's me...

and  love you, i cant change that either.

stubborn as it seems. but its ........ ( no words can describe this ) arggghh

5 more days to 29th and this time has made me realized that i can manage my life better without you but my soul aint happy, my heart feels empty. nothing seems right even though everything looks right.

to be frank, i do hope you read this , and perharps something happens to us, for the better i would prefer. This stagnant but yet unstable feeling im experiencing, is killing me.

gosh stop thinking and just slp. good night.

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