Cross Roads Chapter 1

Woke her up at 9 today. As usual she sounded slpy but this time a bit awake already lol. the irony was that i went back to slp again. haha well guess i love to slp over. the next moment when i woke up . it was like 11 le. went to bathe, and had maggi mee for lunch. not really healthy food but yea. oh and i took a lil chivas to go with maggi mee. well its not like i felt sad or what, but i juz like that warm feeling in my stomach. and by the way I DUN RESORT TO ALCOHOL ABUSE WHEN I'M SAD.so i went off to school after eating my maggi mee. Reached school at 1245! thought everyone would be at concourse camping for serena to come to celebrate her bday. but lol no one there yet. i searched for si jie's number.. couldnt find! so in the end called nana, and waited for the rest to come. cake was set up, bday girl was there. As per normal, cake was on the bday's gal face, and it was darren who did it. LOL darren's gonna die for his bday. He play with the cake at every ppl's bday.Went for lessons at 2. Was very distracted the whole day.. dunno why i suddenly started thinking back and all. Teacher knows i was distracted, keep calling me to answer questions to keep me on track, but i think he failed. Thanks Mr Woops though =) Decided to do 3dva from 6 to 9. Went to club room to slack awhile, then i heard, she cried . i was like WHYYYYYYYY?? first reaction, went to find her. dunno why she refused to tell me why she cried and all, even much digging and all. She just didnt tell me. well in the end, decided to acommpany her. so i went to print HCI notes to pei her study. well instead of studying , we went to the library and had hell lots of fun. Well the main part of the fun was, they putting me and diana together. diana or diyannah? WATEVA LAH i dun care!!i retaliated by tickling them and all. serve them right for putting me and her together even though they know I HATE HER TO THE CORE. then went home. stop at the library outside and had a nice chat with nick and the rest. Then i sent her home. A very silent trip home. I didnt know what to say, i didnt know what to do. My heart was just aching from the fact that she's just beside me but i cant hug her and she aint smiling. I told myself "QUICK TALK TO HER! ANYTHING WILL DO. but nothing really came out." well i guess it was a BIG loosing battle. how i wish that BIG FAT WALL between me and her can just go away. I spent the rest of my time home thinking about the sweet memories of the past and the bad memories after we broke up. The memories just made me emo and suddenly i wanted to write a song about what happen and that sums up to the various "poems" i wrote. READ THEM AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEM AND U"LL FIND WHAT'S REALLY BEEN RUNNING THROUGH MY HEART. i guess that's the only way i could express myself.

well when i saw those 2 words "friends 4eva" it just reminds me how i broke up with you. The same 2 words made my heart shattered into bits and pieces.

well, hell yea. Friends 4eva.

Baby i miss your hugs.

Baby i miss your kisses.

Baby i miss you being in my arms.

It sucks to know that you are just beside me,

but i cant hug you tightly to myself.

You are always around guys,

Fun is what you seem to them.

But i get jealous easily this few days.

Why? dont ask me why.

I envy how the guys can joke with you,

and how you seem so happy when you are around them.

I have always wanted to give you happiness,

But i think i'm a failure who brings you stress and sadness.

I wonder why we are so silent around each other,

and whether the cause of it was our breakup.

Although i am yearning for you to come back to my arms,

I would stay as a friend if that would cause u no more troubles.

Now i would rather be that guy,

who would make you laugh no matter what.

Seeing that smile on your beautiful face,

is more rewarding then anything in the world.

I would stay by your side,

and lend you my ear,

catching watever you pour out of your heart.

cos you aint talking to me anymore my sweet heart.

But here i am once again, at the crossroads.

Confused on where to go or whether to hide.

Although its just 2 choices to make,

i'm still scratching my head.

i really dunno y.