This few years have been a life crisis to me. People say, failure is the stepping stone to success.
So im gonna talk abt how a loser and failure I feel I am now.
Firstly, im 2 years slower then ppl of my age. Ppl of my age are already building their career. Some are even managers and got bto-ed. While I, on the other hand, am still studying,and whats worst retaining one semester. I studied to gain more knowledge, but I felt, as the people around me grew more intelligent, my confidence grew lesser. I felt I was unable to keep up to the pressure and am always left behind. Despite how hard I study, I always ended up with a pass or maybe a credit.
Secondly, I feel im at a stagnant position in my music path. I dont see myself improving much on stage. Still always feeling very overwhelmed on stage. And with so many comments abt me deproving, im feel even more inconfident. But luckily, recently I found back my bright tone.
But still many things to focus on, 歌词, 歌曲的拿捏。
Thirdly, my recent breakup has really made a big impact on me. I really thought that she was the one and that we would go far. But then now that we have broken up, I realized im still too immature. I often compare myself to others, focusing on the lackings I have. I blame myself for not being able to understand her and being so naive. It pains to see her gone out of my life.. it even pains to see her with someone I know. How I wish, that guy, standing beside her was me. 3 words... let it go...
I remembered i often wanted a simple life, being simple minded. But now that I am so simple minded. I realized, that im too immature and simple minded to take care of anyone, and to even lead someone in a relationship. I want to lead. I want to have thinkings. I want to not be the one to just follow and agree to everything. Or rather I want to know how to tell right from wrong and at least not follow blindly and be that guy with eq.
I hate myself for being myself. Till a point, I feel like what have I done with my life? Can I just jump and end my life now. Cos I think I just ruined it.
Okay. Enough ranting abt myself. Lets self medicate.
Well I know. I need to start to learn to love myself. And accept myself for who I am. Stop changing myself. Because only then will ppl accept me for who I am and start loving me.
I need to also constantly push and challenge myself to achieve greater heights.
Hi mr cy, u once love yourself very much. But now that u lost urself. Please find yourself back and cherish urself. I love you and you know it..
